Thursday, February 02, 2006

Doh!

This morning I had the fun task of collecting some files from the safe in the basement of my office. Boring but hardly physically or mentally taxing by any stretch of the imagination.

However.

About 2/3 the way through collecting my batch of files, my innards decided that this would be the perfect time to kickstart the latter half of the digestion process -the part that had steadfastly refused to work as it should for the last week or so.
However, as much as I wanted to mosey on down to ye olde garderobe and send my little brown fish off to the atlantic, I couldn't exactly do it with two armloads of security documents and the only set of keys to the safe in the building. So..I grabbed the last of the files (in record time, I might add) and hopped into the lift, my only plan for the next few minutes being to drop off the files at my desk, give boss-lady her keys back and scoot to the loo, post-haste.

I'm halfway there when he spots me.
I'll call him Wesley, since he looks like a Wesley to me. Wesley is a director of the company. Of the species Grandus Fromageus.

(Aside from looking like a Wesley, he also sports a fine moustache. Its the kind of 'tache that, in a previous life, was attached to the top lip of a Spitfire pilot during the blitz... the kind of 'tache that should belong to a mouth that can shout "Tally Ho, chaps!" without coming off as a prat)

Anyway. Wesley introduces himself, and starts the New Chap speech. You know, how's it going so far, do you like it, who's your team (squadron) leader and so forth.
And through all this, I'm just standing there with a reddening face, clutching my files with sweating hands, toes pointing inwards and images of an Anal Incident flashing through my mind.
He must of sensed something was wrong when he foolishy tried to shake my hand:
a) it was sweatier than that of a paedophile at kindergarten swimming gala and
b) my arm involuntaily took this as a sign to release some tension and I think I might of popped one of his knuckles.

Soon afterwards we made our respective excuses and I shuffled away to what can only be described as wall clawing bliss.

No doubt he went off to the boardroom to spread the word of the decidedly odd, sweaty handed South African who's just joined the company.
Aaargh!!
Posted by Mark :: 20:47 :: 1 Comments:

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