Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Night Watch
By the way, we did get to see it on Sunday. The missus has done the honours.
KnackeredMan,I hate going back to work after a break. Not just because I'm going back to work, but because inevitably no one has bothered doing any of my work while I've been off and my in-tray looks like a paper replica of the frigging Eiffel Tower.
Or what they have worked on, they've cocked up completely.
Today, the first day back, was a case of C: Both of the above. I'm exhausted- any all I have to look forward to tomorrow is the second pile of shite which I didn't even manage to dent today.
Arrgh!!! Serves me right for having time off.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Whoohooo!
One Happy ZombieOh man, it's been a good weekend so far.
On Friday we got to see the entire Dead trilogy one after the other- apparently the first time it's ever been done, anywhere! After DotD finished, we were treated to a cool presentation by Greg Nicotero, a top notch SFX/ Make up/ Prosthetics guy (Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Dusk to Dawn, Serenity etc).
He ran through some off-set footage from Land of the Dead, as well as examples of their mock ups and animatronics for LotD and other projects his worked on. The 20 mins of stuff we saw was excluded from the DVD cut of the movie, so it won't be seen again by Joe Public. Cool!
Anyway, as we were leaving we heard one of the organisers chatting to someone about the "signing".... Naturally, ears were immediately swivelled in his direction- apparently George Romero & Greg Nicotero were doing a short signing/ meet & greet session at The Cinema Store on Saturday morning.
Saturday morning dawned, and after a leisurely breakfast of eggy bread I lazily thumbed the PC on to see if their website listed the time for the signing: 10 to 12. It was 10:30 already.
I set a personal record, throwing myself into a pair of jeans and a suitably clean shirt and hurtling to the station to get the first train in. By 11:30 I was in the queue, enjoying the antics of the 2 fully made up zombies lurching around aside the store.
It was particularly funny when they lurched after the oriental tourists! You could tell they knew it was some sort of display, but when the man-with-ripped-face went "Urrrrrh" and snapped at their necks that glint appeared in their eyes, the glint that says "but what if--". Much shrieking for them and laughter for me.
Yes, yes, small things and small minds, but so what, I'm easy to please.
Anyhoo, the moneygrabbing fucknuts at the store had decided that unless you were one of the elite geeks with the Weekend Pass from Frightfest you had to buy a movie poster for £20 and get that signed. I was miffed, to say the least- I had brought along the DVD cover for my copy of DotD to get that signed, as it was the first movie Greg & George had worked on together.
I grudgingly handed over my card and received my shiny poster. I tell you what, some of the stuff in that shop is hideously pricey. E.g: we're fans of Pirates of the Caribbean, and on a visit to Forbidden Planet we bought one of the reproduction cursed Aztec coins for £7.99. The Cinema Store is flogging it for £39.95, although theirs apparently comes in a special box. Wow. So thats £8 for the coin and £31 for the box then? Give me a break.
And yes then I got to meet Mr Zombie himself! I shook his hand, he said "How're you doing?", and I for once didn't geek out and gibber "M-m-m-movies, you d-do m-m-movies!". I managed a perfectly civil "Fine, thank you, how're you?" Hardly the smooth and witty reparteee I'd been trying to work on while standing in the queue, but better than just grinning like a psycho and spraying drool on his (huge) glasses.
I am now the proud owner of a LotD poster signed by both of them - tomorrow we're off to Ikea to buy a big enough frame and it's going up in the lounge, front & centre.
As a bonus, after George had left Mrs G arrived, having taken the later train. Greg was still hanging about the shop (buying figures that had been made of monsters he'd designed)- he was happy to stand and chat and to sign my DVD cover after all. What a genuinely nice chap!
Our movie yesterday, btw, was Wild Country. A Scottish werewolf /horror movie- not too terrible, it would have been better if the dipshits at the Odeon had turned off the lights completely though, as the movie is mostly shot in gloomy lighting. But, still cool, particularly the scene where the farmer gets munched.
The director and two female leads were there, as this was the first screening for a public audience, which was nice. They werea bitt overdressed though- I'm not sure what they were expecting crowd wise but I don't think it was the black t-shirt brigade.
Tonight, we're off to see Night Watch, which sounds very promising. Apparently Fox pictures will have security on site confiscating mobile phones.. huh?Camcorderss yes, but mobiles? I don't mind really - this way I won't have to endure any more simpletons texting or talking during the movie.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
mmm fleshy goodness
Ah, happy days. Soon the might Mr Romero's latest zombie fest will be gracing our screens! I couldn't be happier- there's nothing like watching a dinkum zombie gorefest in the cinema.
Sure, I can watch it on my TV with surround sound et al, but to see it up there, huge and in your face, with massive speakers belching out the raw, uncompromising sound of flesh being torn and skulls being cracked for the brainy goodness within.....ah man, it doesn't get better than that.
I'd always lived in hope that one day some alternate theatre (like the Prince Charles) would show any of the Dead trilogy as part of some fringe festival or something.
But this Friday we're off to see them all: Night, Dawn & Day of the Dead, one after the other, punctuated only by a quick run to the loo and a dash to the popcorn stand. Fucking A!!!!!!!
It was a bit of a "Oh Bugger" when they said that Land Of the Dead was sold out already, but that's actually better: I get to soak up the 3 for now, and save LotD for later.
It's sort of like when you were a kid on a long car journey and you've gotten to the last 3 cm of your chocolate log: you want to make it last a long' long time. You nibble off the chocolate, lick of the chewy marshmallow bit, then strip the chocolate sides off the wafers, then split the layers of wafer off on another before finally munching the last bit.
Tomorrow I'll be in zombie heaven- even more so if the rumoured appearance of the silver maned zombiemaster himself is there as the guest of honour is true!!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Enola Gay, we need you.
I am so sick and tired of hearing about the Middle East.
Let’s face it, that lot are never going to stop arguing that the father of their father’s grandfather’s cousin’s twice removed grandfather’s favourite goatherder has a more legitimate claim to this or that patch of sand than the present owner/ occupier. And to underline their resistance to the regime d’jour they’re going to burn some tyres, beat some women and then blow up somewhere.
Take the picture above for example. On one side you have the Palestinian, bitching that the demonic Israeli has stolen their sand. On the other side is the Israeli, bitching that the demonic Palestinian has no right to his sand.
Can you spot the difference?
All the greatest intentions and best laid peace plans in the world aren’t going to amount to diddily squat on street level, because too much blood has been shed and no one involved in the conflict on that level has the courage to breakout of that small-minded mindset and drop the feud.
They’re going to stay locked in their vicious little circle of seeking vengeance for the acts of vengeance carried out against themselves until the end of time. They may say the right words and smile blandly at the cameras at the right time but come nightfall they’ll be plotting how to turn the situation to their advantage and screw the other guy over. To avenge Ali’s cousin’s mechanic, who got shot before he could earn his 72 virgins.
These days I just flip the channel when news from that neck of the woods comes up. They’re ruining prime time with their tedious squabbling.
Personally, I think we should nuke Palestine (if you can find it), Iran and Iraq.
I mean, lets face it, they serve no purpose.
Apart from oil, can you name any useful exports from any of them..?
Any major contributions to civilisation, science or humanity?
And no, terrorism doesn’t count.
Be honest- who, apart from a few relatives who themselves had already abandoned the “home country”, would really miss them?
I know it’s a terrible thought when you think about the innocent lives that would be killed. I lay the blame for the collateral damage at the feet of the so-called freedom fighters/ holy jihaddy types (whatever euphemism they’re using these days); it’s their insistence on trying to blend in with the local civilian population that makes it such a nightmare to police.
The civilians who know of these combatants, who help them hide or who have crucial info that could help the security forces tip the scale but instead clam up—they’re just as bad as the guy with his finger on the trigger, if not worse.
As soon as my secret plan to become the first modern Emperor of Britain comes to fruition they’re all in deep shit.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Breakfast of championsWe had a bit of an Old Mother Hubbard moment this morning.... woke up starving only to discover we'd forgotten to buy anything for breakfast.
So.... a bit of improvisation later we sat down to a hearty breakfast of strong coffee, Saturday's leftover Doritos and some sickly sweet Swedish shortbread biscuits a la Ikea.
I don't think there was 1 unprocessed/ natural ingredient in any of it, but it certainly did the trick... E numbers are your friend. :¬P
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
One is amused.
Hoo boy, did I have some interesting dreams last night.
Maybe it was the 90 minutes of tenderisation courtesy of last nights jiu jitsu class, or maybe because I ate my supper very late last night. Wie weet?
It kicked off where I was standing under the bridge at Wetton station (a middle class suburb of Cape Town- well, it was middle class when I grew up there, nowadays its become rather less than salubrious by all accounts) where I had started up my car, before trying to load some blankets into the boot.
As I did so, I knocked the car into gear and it trundled off, while I ran after it with an armful of blankets.
It was about there that I discovered that I was, in fact, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, and I had forgotten my shoes.
My first thought was “How embarrassing, I’m running in my socks”.
Anyway, I lost track of the car- it had somehow managed to turn corners. After a bit of searching, I spotted it while standing on Wetton bridge. It had bulldozed its way into Youngsfield army camp; I thought it’d be good to sneak in through the hole in the fence and get away before anyone spotted it.
I almost made it. As I reached the car two sentries opened fire; one with an assault rifle and the other with an old revolver. They missed me, and I closed with them and starting punching them with one hand, while my other held onto my precious cargo of blankets.
The sentries fled and took shelter in my car; I wrenched the door open and continued punching them. Just then the floodlights came on and an anonymous voice shouted at them to stop fighting with me, that didn’t they know who I was?
I felt quite good about that, until the Queen arrived, looking a bit breathless & flustered. She admonished me for running in my socks ( just look at the state they’re in, covered with grass! ) and handed me my shoes, which I felt inordinately pleased about.
And that was it.
I know I like Prince Philip, and am a supporter of the Royal Family, but it’s the first time I’ve dragged his Highness into the sordid backwater of my sleeping mind.
And it was one of those vivid dreams, you know? The ones that seem so real you can almost smell / taste things in them.
And why Wetton station? Even back in the rose tinted memories of my childhood the only reason I ever went there was to catch the train into work, or when I was a wee lad, to catch tadpoles in the canal that ran past it. It’s not like it was a major influence or the site of any particularly traumatic/ memorable.
Well, Saturday morning we slithered out of bed at 7, and were on the road down to Portsmouth by 8.The drive down started off badly, with an early morning traffic jam on the M25 (gasp! Shock! Horror! Surely not!) caused by some eejit having an accident.
Eventually we escaped via junction 10 and hurtled off along the A3; we took the turnoff and were suddenly in the countryside proper, driving along leafy, winding roads with cows and stuff in the distance.
On arriving at the Gardens, we were quite surprised by how busy it was already – the field being used as a prking lot was filling up fast. Once inside the event it was busy, but not crushingly so; there was a nice friendly buzz and no one we came across was overly pushy shovey, so for once we didn’t have to kick shins and claw our way through the mob.
Most of the people were simply clustered in front of the various stalls.
I have to admit it wasn’t quite what I expected – I was expecting a US style chilli cook-off type of event, with people bringing in their homemeade chillis for tasting and so on. Still, it was good. I got to taste various sauces, relishes, jellies –even ice cream- all of which had chillis as the main ingredient.
Very illuminating! I seem to have a mid-range tolerance for the little buggers.
The ice cream was quite an experience- cold and sweet, but with a cumulatively hotter aftertaste. Very nice.
For lunch I had a simply luscious sausage from the O’Hagan’s grillers, a handmade Argentinian Chilli Chorizo. Damn that was one good sausage!
We made our way to the exits after about 3 hours of lazy browsing; it was also getting a bit crowded.
As we waited to rejoin the main road, there was a long line of cars queuing to get in…. so next year, we’ll be up & at it even earlier.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Tangy goodness
I’m quite looking forward to Saturday. The missus & I are driving down to exotic Portsmouth (closer to Chichester actually) to sample the delights of the Chili Festival being held at Dean College.
Now, I am quite a fan of spicy food (not stupidly spicy food where the sole objective of the chef was to burn his customers tongue to a shrivelled husk of carbon ) but spicy food wherein you can savour the flavours of the chilli and appreciate the magic it brings to food.
Anyway, it’s happened a few times that I’ve sat down to a pot of chilli that we’ve made and said “Mmmm that was damn fine. It’s nice and tangy”, while at the same time other dinner guests were frantically rummaging through the fridge, making small mewling noises and scratching at the milk bottles.
Or put it this way- when we go to Nando’s, as a rule I always have either the hot or extra hot chicken. I consider “hot” to be tangy and “extra hot” to be spicy. I’m not trying to impress anyone or strut around like Mr Macho, I just like the taste of it and don’t consider them to be anything out of the ordinary.
So. What I want to do at the Festival, besides trying new recipes & varieties, is rate my palate against a wide range of spiciness ratings; this is the only way I can get an idea of what other people outside of my immediate circle of friends consider to be ‘hot’.
I’ve not been to a festival like this before so its certainly going to be interesting. Watch this space!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Rejected !
We just got back from the cinema, having seen a preview screening of Mr Zombie's newest work of genius, The Devils Rejects.
Awesome! Maybe not everyone's cup of tea, but it's right up my alley.
And the best part is, we had free tickets, courtesy of London's top radio station, Xfm. Cheers!
It was shown at my favourite kind of cinema, the small independent kind. Not the franchised big business, soulless kind that attracts every goofball and twat with a cellphone.
And that's another thing- why, dear sweet Christ, why do people pay good money to go to a movie and then insist on talking throughout the movie?? It boggles my mind and boils my blood to the extent where I would happily grab a spade and go a bit Sheriff Wydell on them.
Anyway, it was a cool cinema. If you're ever near D'Arblay street in Soho, go to no. 14.
...and go see the movie! But do yourself a favour and see House of 1000 Corpses first... it's essential viewing.
Last night I manged to tackle the dishes and finish cleaning the kitchen before heading to bed; at the same time Mrs G finished ironing our work clothes for today.So this morning was so much less hassle; I got to watch the news while the missus prepared breakfast, a rare treat.
Usually I’d be morosely swabbing dishes or kicking the dog.
I discovered that the world beyond England’s border does not, in fact, exist.
Not according to Sky News, ITV or GMTV anyway.
Their top stories this morning? Some smelly student type who’s doing a Phd on Air Guitar, a mechanical breakdown on a bus, kids who are afraid to play outside in case they get kidnapped and other nonsense stories.
Then it was Johnny Suit’s chance to bore the living crap out of 90% of their viewers with the stock market report, followed by the weather report- this is in turn was the normal “lets try mention everything, that way we can’t be wrong” style of report.
“We could start off with some showers this morning, which may persist to the afternoon and could become heavier. We could see some sunny patches breaking through though; the temperature is likely to be in the early 20’s, possibly around 23” ...
And then? Then they went back to the newsdesk and started repeating the same stuff over again.
What happened to the news from the rest of the world? Yes, I know I can flip to CNN, but that’s not the point. I want to hear about the President Slobdickmabitch declaring war on Blotnyagaga in a comforting English accent.
I can’t understand why the UK news can’t cover stuff from around the globe? The only foreign news we get are titibits about yet another bomb going off in Baghdad (that’s more of a routine than news these days), Tony Blair being ignored at yet another international conference and the odd bulb headed child starving in the dirt somewhere in Africa.
The annoying part is the BBC & Sky websites are pretty good, but at 6:30 in the morning I’m in no mood to go hunch in front of the PC, balancing my eggs & toast on my knees whilst mousing away.
>:¬[
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