Wednesday, April 23, 2008
oh for a twatless gymYou really do see all sorts at gym... you've got the normal people, the serious gym nuts, the casual sorts who you see now and then, the penitents who you only see on Mondays and the week before they go on hols.. as well as the posers and the lads.
The posers are generally younger guys who 'train' in a small group. They're convinced that they're well ripped and like, totally buff. Their eyes dart from mirror to mirror as they fail miserably to be surreptitious about trying to see themselves from every possible angle. Even lifting a cup of water becomes a complex operation as they try to nonchalantly flex their wee biceps to breaking point while lifting the cup to their mouths- because, you know, everyone's watching. The reality is, they're normally pale weedy little things who haven't quite decided if they're queer or not.
Then there's the lads; the semi neanderthal types with brains transplanted from the late 70's. They consider cardiovascular exercises only worthy of girls and poofters.
Despite the fact that they're all over 18 (125kg+) stone and haven't seen their feet while standing up since 1992, they all hang around the weights area, randomly grabbing any machine thats open. They do one set, then stand around talking about how they 'felt the burn' in loud voices before taking a 10 minute water break.
I had three of these buffoons doing exactly this at the bank of machines in front of me tonight. Each of them was a pale, shaven headed blob; they were hanging off the pull-up bars doing leg raises. I think they thought this made them look very fit and tough; the sad reality is that they had no clue how to do the exercise properly; all they were managing to do was tire out their hip abductor muscles and hang off a pole. But boy, did they make enough noise to ensure everyone was watching them be tough.
I looked over at the guy on the treadmill next to me and he just shook his head and summed it up neatly with "What a bunch of twats."
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wow.Pardon my French, but what a fucking incredible voice!
Find them here.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Those crazy Russians
Borrowed from the BBC...
A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up.
Yuri Lyalin, 53, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept like a baby before his spouse noticed a handle sticking out of his back.
He was rushed to casualty but doctors found no vital organs damaged.
Mr Lyalin shrugged the episode off but the drinking partner who stabbed him faces trial, Russian media report.
"Unique and intriguing the case may be, but the accused faces a severe punishment," said Pavel Vorobyov, a deputy prosecutor in the northern city of Vologda.
'We were drinking'
Mr Lyalin, an electrician, had spent the evening drinking with a watchman at his workplace when they got into an argument, Interfax news agency reports.
The morning found him waking up in the watchman's office but instead of going back to work, he decided to take the bus home.
At home, Mr Lyalin had some sausage from the fridge and lay down to sleep, the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper says.
After a couple of hours, his wife noticed the handle sticking out of his back and called an ambulance.
Viktor Belov, a surgeon who treated him, found a kitchen knife in Mr Lyalin's back but "by good fortune, it had gone through soft tissue without touching vital organs".
His alleged attacker reported the crime to the police himself, Interfax adds. Mr Lyalin apparently feels fine and bears no ill-will.
"We were drinking and what doesn't happen when you're drunk?" he was quoted by Komsomolskaya Pravda as saying.
Remind me not to get pissed in Russia....
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
..with good intentions
I'll do the updates soon, I swear.
Hey..
Got a light?
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