Wednesday, April 23, 2008

oh for a twatless gym



You really do see all sorts at gym... you've got the normal people, the serious gym nuts, the casual sorts who you see now and then, the penitents who you only see on Mondays and the week before they go on hols.. as well as the posers and the lads.

The posers are generally younger guys who 'train' in a small group. They're convinced that they're well ripped and like, totally buff. Their eyes dart from mirror to mirror as they fail miserably to be surreptitious about trying to see themselves from every possible angle. Even lifting a cup of water becomes a complex operation as they try to nonchalantly flex their wee biceps to breaking point while lifting the cup to their mouths- because, you know, everyone's watching. The reality is, they're normally pale weedy little things who haven't quite decided if they're queer or not.

Then there's the lads; the semi neanderthal types with brains transplanted from the late 70's. They consider cardiovascular exercises only worthy of girls and poofters.
Despite the fact that they're all over 18 (125kg+) stone and haven't seen their feet while standing up since 1992, they all hang around the weights area, randomly grabbing any machine thats open. They do one set, then stand around talking about how they 'felt the burn' in loud voices before taking a 10 minute water break.

I had three of these buffoons doing exactly this at the bank of machines in front of me tonight. Each of them was a pale, shaven headed blob; they were hanging off the pull-up bars doing leg raises. I think they thought this made them look very fit and tough; the sad reality is that they had no clue how to do the exercise properly; all they were managing to do was tire out their hip abductor muscles and hang off a pole. But boy, did they make enough noise to ensure everyone was watching them be tough.

I looked over at the guy on the treadmill next to me and he just shook his head and summed it up neatly with "What a bunch of twats."
Posted by Mark :: 23:15 :: 0 Comments:

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