Wednesday, August 22, 2007
up, up and away
Come Thursday we head to Athens for the first leg of our holidays :)
At fricking last!
Tomorrow we pack, buy the last few essential goodies and get a haircut...
Thursday the dog goes off to the kennels and then.. off to the airport and awayyyyyy!!
Watch this space for pics- have got 20gb worth of memory on my camera and I'm not afraid to use it!
:)
Sunday, August 12, 2007
snigger
David Beckham is due on the pitch for a training session, and he's nowhere to be seen.
His new Galaxy manager goes looking for him and finds him in the dressing room, and says "Hey David! Why aren't you out on the pitch??"
David says: "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle that Victoria gave me."
Manager: "I don't care about a damn puzzle, get out on the pitch!"
David: "no.. I've been trying for weeks to do this jigsaw, and it's all i can think of right now"
Manager: "what's the puzzle of?"
David: "It's a tiger."
Manager looks over David's shoulder at the puzzle laid out on the floor and says:
"For fucks sake! Put the Frosties back in box and get out on the pitch!"
.
Monday, August 06, 2007
itsy bitsy my arse
Meet Tegenaria Gigantea, commonly called the 'house spider' in Britain.
T.G is essentially harmless and is considered to be something of a gentle giant by some; around this time of year the males tend to go walkabout, looking for a mate for the season. The males legs can grow fairly long, allowing them to dash across your carpets in the blink of an eye, the visitor we had tonight proved.
I mean, this spider is fast. Seriously quick. It covered just over a metre in the time it took me to look down after catching the movement in the corner of my eye (looking for chameleons in Mrs Bea's hedge as a kid taught me a lot).
I grabbed a pint glass and grabbed him from his hidey hole under the sofa throw, upon which poor Mrs FG sat a-quivering. Perhaps, in retrospect, I shouldn't have shouted "Fucking hell! Don't move!" and run out of the room.
Anyhoo, he was a fantastic looking bastard- healthy, huge & hairy. It's a pity we couldn't find the camera. I took him to the massively overgrown hedge at the corner of the road and set him free.. he was big enough that I could hear him scuttling away across the leaves.
And no, I don't hold with killing spiders if I have a choice.. bad mojo doing that, especially indoors.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
nnnnh
Fuck me, I'm knackered. It's been a helluva couple of weeks... I forgot how busy it gets in the summer.
I've been shuffling piles of work from one end of my desk to another just to create enough space to be able to actually start something.. people are on leave left, right and centre, so their stuff gets passed on... lots of new work in... year end looming.. :P
What is it about warm weather that brings out the freaks? Almost every day now I've had my senses assaulted by some variety of Timmy.
If its not a twitcher or drooler, it's a bible thumper hollering that I'm in danger of paddling in brimstone for eternity, tempting to seal my fate by punching him in his gurning, self righteous mug.
Today I had a charity collector follow me for half a block, unable to comprehend a simple "no". I had to upgrade to "Fuck off, I don't care" before she wandered off to re-braid her sandals or eat more tofu, or whatever it is those people do when they're not littering the streets.
Man. By the time I reached the sanctity of the office I was already exhausted, my lovely new shirt decorated with oh-so-attractive sweaty rings under my arms. Yay.
The weekend is good, but set against the crushing weight of the in-tray waiting for me on Monday, its only a brief pit-stop. I need my holiday! Only 3 goddamn weeks to go :)
It's all that's keeping me sane.
Hey..
Got a light?
Killer Rabbid
Fat Gecko
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