Friday, September 02, 2005

Tourists! Pfagh!


Biz
I’m sure the scanner at the eurostar arrivals terminal emits a certain type of radiation that disrupts passengers brain functions.

I have the misfortune to have to walk the length of Waterloo station every morning & evening, and every day I get to play Dodge-The-Retards.

They plod along, eyes fixed on a distant objective, oblivious to everything around them. And then, when all that thinking (breathe in, bring back leg past front leg, breathe out, bring back leg past front leg, breathe in, etc) becomes too much to bear, they simply stop dead in their tracks.
Not in front of the ticket machine or a notice board or anything, but simply anywhere that takes their fancy, like wannabe pikeys with really small caravans.

I’ve stopped making an effort to dodge around them anymore. These days I will happily kick their luggage over or walk into them (“Oh, so sorry, I didn’t see you. Tsk tsk, silly me.”) or allow their feral little offspring, who are inevitably running around like hyperactive gremlins, the honour of running into me, literally.
If the poor dears bumpsies their cutesy wootsy widdle heads on the nasty man’s bony knees then GOOD, they shouldn’t running around little hyperactive little gremlins in the first place.

And what is it about our European neighbours that forces them to conduct any conversation by screaming at each other at the top of their lungs? Are they naturally deaf or merely suffering from a build up of ear wax (a natural by-product of their universal dislike of any type of personal hygiene) ?

Harrumph.

Posted by Mark :: 16:03 :: 2 Comments:

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